The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
