Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born

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(313): Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born http://tfl.nu/de9t

Replies (17) Good night (1909) Bad night (954)
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(816): View more from Missouri

if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.

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(816): if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin. http://tfl.nu/cu5c

Replies (83) Good night (4778) Bad night (821)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too

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(919): Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too http://tfl.nu/1k8w

Replies (40) Good night (910) Bad night (4420)
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(954): View more from Florida

I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.

(727): View more from Florida

More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.

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(954): I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning. (727): More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort. http://tfl.nu/lvyr

Replies (15) Good night (4847) Bad night (731)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head

(203): View more from Connecticut

she has to be all "alternative"

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(203): she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head (203): she has to be all "alternative" http://tfl.nu/5hrz

Replies (8) Good night (798) Bad night (3868)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.

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(717): he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob. http://tfl.nu/6ugt

Replies (56) Good night (9037) Bad night (1223)
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(301): View more from Maryland

The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"

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(301): The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football" http://tfl.nu/o0mi

Replies (19) Good night (5298) Bad night (1068)
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(303): View more from Colorado

You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.

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(303): You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead. http://tfl.nu/vdho

Replies (1) Good night (2142) Bad night (589)
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(562): View more from California

Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car

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(562): Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car http://tfl.nu/galf

Replies (6) Good night (1289) Bad night (462)
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(303): View more from Colorado

We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool

(1-303): View more from Colorado

We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern

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(303): We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool (1-303): We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern http://tfl.nu/3irm

Replies (8) Good night (872) Bad night (391)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"

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(630): I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?" http://tfl.nu/t0nn

Replies (2) Good night (579) Bad night (335)
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(143): View more from

I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month

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(143): I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month http://tfl.nu/nllz

Replies (1) Good night (371) Bad night (419)
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(248): View more from Michigan

After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla

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(248): After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla http://tfl.nu/8bae

Replies (0) Good night (597) Bad night (290)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL

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(814): he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL http://tfl.nu/xgy9

Replies (10) Good night (456) Bad night (493)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"

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(309): Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm" http://tfl.nu/34wj

Replies (0) Good night (170) Bad night (438)

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