what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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