: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
