Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste