She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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