i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
