Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry DeannaMHC hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?

Fav 59 6288 1597
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap

Fav 19 1021 4108
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.

Fav 11 1807 6863
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.

Fav 32 1491 15730
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!

Fav 20 6847 1561
share tweet
(914): View more from New York

right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"

Fav 6 3471 1111
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?

Fav 8 1874 889
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.

Fav 3 868 477
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

Cover your peen. We're going out.

Fav 0 34 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT