I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
