You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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