fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
whose parrot is this?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
