I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
