WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
