It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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