You're completely useless in the revolution.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
