i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
And then he peed in my hair
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