we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
