please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
