I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.