i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I would ride that face into the sunset
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal