Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.