Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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