I faked an abortion last night.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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