so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
