I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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