You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
