Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
