You're my little dorito
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
