; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
