Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize