i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
