No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
