I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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