Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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