Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize