Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
