im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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