Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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