If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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