I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
