I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
