Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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