She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
