i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
