so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
