Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
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