office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
