yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
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He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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