Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
