pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
