Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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