So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
