Girls should come with a carfax report
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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