I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
