I just threw up on my dentist
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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