We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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