trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
