I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Your cock deserves a montage
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
