I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
