I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
