how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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