The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
