Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
