just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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